Put Clever yet Emotional Title Here

The fact that I'm blogging is good, it means I'm helping move my game forward. Even if I'm moving it the same amount as a limbless old blind snail pushing a mountain, I'm still doing something. 

There's so many things I want to cover in this post, like why am I finding it so hard to do something that I supposedly love doing? Why can I not find motivation to do it in even if it is seen as a bit of work? Why is reflecting on immortality and it's implications and reflecting that in a game so hard for someone like me to do?

I do love making games. I have a whole list of potential game ideas, and they're not bad. Every time I think of a new one I go through my old ones and usually delete a crappy idea I thought before was good. I guess it's difficult because I have a very common combination of traits; I'm optimistic yet lazy. I have to face the fact that rather than simply drafting some ideas for even an hour I ended up going on a FIFA 12 rampage, watched episodes on Disney I'd already seen, played more FIFA then watched 2 entire movies back to back. I might have mentioned before how I daydream and fantasise about standing in front of a huge audience, holding an award for Eternality and knowing that I made it, my position was secure and that people appreciated me. It's hard to work because I've already felt that rush of excitement just imagining it (no innuendo there by the way) and what come after that? A wave of disappointment, this is life, not a movie. And I know that people in movies say that but no, that's a phrase for real life. Those kind of movies are made to make us forget that real life requires more than a montage of effort, it requires real hard pain and sacrifice. It's the reward at the end, the trophies, fame and satisfaction that is meant to pull you through that difficulty. But if you've already felt it then where's the will to succeed?

Here's a short story; once I was at a school award evening and I had won an award for something academically challenging. it wasn't something like OMG AMAZEBALLS but (lol I'm finding it hard to describe) it was just difficult enough to be worth it. There are also a bunch of other students who won awards, for academical reasons and sporty achievements. But one person, a guy who in school acted like a real douche, won an award for (this is not the exact name for the award by the way) being brave when moving from his country to here and handling it all well and stuff... I was definitely annoyed and made my point very clear to my parents, who seemed to be on his side...

I mean I guess the point of the story is that people put in effort in different ways, I did it academically, he did it emotionally. To be honest I had forgot about the awards until I got one. So that shows how much effort I put in. I just felt robbed because he was given so much praise and he didn't deserve it, sure he like went across the globe single handed at such a young age surviving and stuff. Maybe I was jealous? It was all to long ago, I can't remember my feeling too accurately. 

What's weird as well is that I always dream of people reading my blog and playing my games, but now there is actually a chance someone might read this, and because I know them personally it kind of put me off blogging. But now I've been thinking, if I can't handle someone I know reading my blog, then how can I be comfortable with strangers, potentially cruel strangers, reading it and spoiling it with harsh comments. It's always easy to look at famous people and be like "your worried about haters? I wouldn't worry about anything on top of your piles of money/massive good fanbase" although I don't have that yet. Will I even get that? If my first game or even the first impression of myself I give is bad then how will anyone ever like me ever again?

All is not lost though, I do tend to have really depressing phases, I start thinking about abandoning Eternality and starting something else, or just waiting till University starts and ends and then make games. Oh that's another thing, I got into university... Now I can't even play the "I wasn't good at anything, but my passion for gaming shone through and saved my butt" card because I'm successful. I have no emotionally scarring backstory driving me, well except for the usual things like minor anorexia, bullying problems and that kinda stuff. Well I guess you could count the fact that I hate that I never have anything to complain about, but then I sound like a stupid twat. That's a different rant altogether, how I want something to go wrong or be wrong so I can have people show me sympathy... Yeah I'm kinda messed up like that. Hm I shouldn't be talking about this so calmly, is this calm? What's going on?

Where was I? Oh yeah the bright side of the silver lining! I am not a giver upper! I am not only succeeding for my sake, but for the sake of everyone who thinks they can't make it, who thinks they are never going to be something, who thinks there are such a things as 'dream jobs', who thinks it's 'too late'... I'm here to prove that with a will to learn, effort and passion, everyone is capable of doing what they want to do most. 

And that my peeps, is the end of this level. If anyone is reading this, follow me on twitter @Originalhussain for game and life updates. I'm really glad I'm writing this, I hope it helps either just me for motivation, or one person to follow their dreams. It's weird, random and probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm working on it. Just like how I'm working on how to make an outtro that doesn't take a million years. See you peeps next level!

To Blog, or Not to Blog

He was very sleepy, as usual. Again he had done no work during the day and made up for it at night. 

Tomorrow would be different for him, well, he hoped anyway. 

He knew this was going to be a short post but it is a post nonetheless. Meaning he has weakened the force of wanting to not do something...ness

He will see his peeps on the next level with more stuff and possibly pictures!

Slow but Steady

He was abusing the saying slow and steady. It seemed to him merely a myth, that a race, a challenge defined by speed and recklessness, can be won by remaining cool and collected. 

He was typing nonsense because he was very sleepy. Although it was not the amount he had set out to complete tonight, he had done enough to satisfy himself for now and give himself a jump start tomorrow. 

He notices his posts might be getting shorter. That's because he's staying later doing more work. Although he's scared to share more game elements in case they get stolen, or even worse they already exist. 

He will let his peeps know more about the game when a decent demo is out. Then he can freely mention what elements and gameplays he is planning to add and improve in the full version. 

Sleepily I drifted between tenses possibly ruining the immersion for the audience. He was never good at English even though I studied it at A Level, he forced himself to stop typing by saying see you next level. 

A Slow Start

He thought of a Pokemon joke instantaneously because of the title, it was almost too easy to say "just call me Regigigas" so he didn't. 

Unfortunately he didn't do much in the morning. A few annoying attempts at an epic level layout stressed him enough to go to sleep. He knew time was running out, so he would ensure that the day will make up for the morning. He might even blog again with updates. 

His peeps must remain without information until then. Also without progress he hasn't really gone to the next level, so he already sees you this level. 

He reread what he writ and realised he should really sleep. 

A Days Worth in a Morning

He sat comfortably by light of the lamp, even though shining through the living room glass doors came the natural sunlight of the early morning. He didn't necessarily feel tired, but for some reason he stopped working. You should have seen him this past hour! New ideas flowing out of his ear holes, sketches upon notes of designs and concepts, furiously being neatly noted on plain and lined papers. Then he stopped. Maybe it's because his throat hurts a bit, maybe it's because he's worried he'll get tired tomorrow, maybe it's maybelline, whatever it is, he's packed up and is ready to hit the sack. 

A new idea floats happily in his mind. He considers lightening the tone of the entire game. No one likes entirely 100% doom and gloom he thought. That's why the Dumbfounding Guards 101 for Dummies was such a great idea to him. It would be hilarious, helpful and great fun for him to write and design. 

Writing about writing this book also reminded him to write in the blog he was writing, that it seemed to him that the platforming element seemed to tax his patience when designing, yet planning the guard mechanics was an absolute joy. To be honest he couldn't have a clear view as he has barely started planning the first guard room, but he has done 3 other platformer rooms and they were really, really dull. 

In any case the boss is still yet to be planned out and that should be a great source of fun for him. All he needs to do is do more work in the day and not just the mornings.

Yawning incoherently he finishes up his blog post by humorously saying good morning to his peeps, and that he will see them in the next level

The Day he Wrote in 3rd Person

It had been a long time since he opened the Blogger app and wrote. He promised himself when he started he would write everyday, even if it was not relevant to the game. But the trials and tribulations of the world got in his way. 

But not today. 

He didn't want people to think he had given up, he never gives up. Well sometimes he gives up for a bit, but you can trust that he will come back sooner or later. 

He yawned infectiously in his bed, the battle between blogging and sleeping was a long and arduous one. He decided to keep it short, for everyone's sake. 

The Deadline had been made clear to him. On the 15th of August his life most likely will take a turn for the worse. This game and the support and feedback it shall so hopefully get is the only thing that can lessen the blow of that tearful day. 

The plan seemed simple to him; make a demo featuring the first level which naturally shows off all the elements of the game, hope that it gets the amazing feedback and attention he thought it deserved, wait for someone to say "do a kick starter! I'd totally support this!" Then show his Parents and say something along the lines of "I'm sorry I didn't do so well at college, but X people have donated X money to make me a game designer. This is a viable future for me and my future family. I love the job, no matter how tough it can be." 

He was very tired now, he still read his success speech twice. Hopefully he'll have nice dreams of them, dreams that will motivate him to pour his blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul into this game. Then people will love it as much as he does. 

He types his final sentences and goes to sleep, reminding himself that tomorrow a whole bunch of work should get done. And that maybe the blood and soul bit was a tad extreme. 

"Goodnight peeps," he writes sleepily,

"See you next level!"

Image Updates

Hey peeps I'll need to keep it short because my internet is flickering on and off so I'll upload the image of the tiles, which were already on DeviantArt (Look up Trilaterus) but I'll put them here so there can be another copy of them somewhere.

I used MS Paint for this one so mind the white background, I kind of like it because of it's simplicity. Anyways I wrote these notes on a notepad while analyzing some levels so I hope they  make some sense:

There are 3 sets of tiles used in the floors of the levels:

1. The generic obviously repeated floor (the ones I mimicked for my cave floors)

2. The tiles that cover the invisible tiles
   There are a set of tiles (just think of the tileset that built up the path in AdvanceMap, you needed up, down, left, right, the corners and the inside corners.
   Same with this except there are two variants of each tile/most tiles and an invisible tile behind that, which can be used to accurately make maps.

3. Using the 'tiled background' feature in Construct there is a layer full of random square block images tiled in the empty space between paths/ceilings and the edges of the screen


This combination should create the look of an art style platformer while maintaining the accuracy of a tile based platformer.

So yeah I did do a sheet labeling which tile is which but I would need to export that to show you and that's kind of long :O

So yeah now my plan is to get a grip on Construct slightly and start doing the boring technical part of measuring everything up, I'll need to choose a display size that is effective and I'll need to see if I can put on a lock/clip/guideline that'll make placing the tiles more easier.

Hopefully this saves and publishes, so peeps I'll see you next level! :)